Right now, I'm pushing the tip of my tongue up against the roof of my mouth. Just behind my front teeth on the hard ridge. I build up saliva around the edges of my teeth. The trick here is to keep my tongue in place touching the top of my mouth while swallowing the saliva. You swallow 3,000 times a day and this is where your tongue should be while that's all happening. Some of us, we're tongue thrusters, which means instead of keeping our tongues in place we push our tongues out pressing against the top front teeth. Because of this bad habit I've got a little space between them. Not a David …
Some people stop eating meat because they don't want to be mean to animals. Or because they feel that it's cruel and unusual to raise a living creature just to kill and eat it. Other people think they'll lose weight if they cut out animal products. Recently, I went a few months without eating meat, and while I took into consideration all those factors, mostly I tried it out because I'm afraid of dying and some people claim that cutting out animal protein will drastically lower the risk of cancer and heart disease. There are two immediate challenges with this. When you cut out all animal …
First there was the earthquake. Then the ominous hurricane. The rain came in and seemed like it was never going to end. All five of us huddled in the bedroom on Saturday night ready to endure the storm. As the rain whipped the house I stared at the dark ceiling wondering what, if anything was going to happen during the night. Or the next day. Would it be as bad as they said? And did I stockpile enough water? Outside, our sensor light started flickering on and off. I could hear it clicking. I got up and turned off the switch from inside. Peeking out, I could see a stream of water running right…
Living in Freehold, no matter where, is pretty great. There are several things that make the Raintree condominium community stand out. Here's what I've enjoyed since moving into the neighborhood: 7. Location is key when it comes to food. Raintree is in walking distance from Top Tomato, Stop and Shop, Moore's Tavern, Escondido's. Other food favorites nearby are Panda, Chipotle, Applegate Farms and Panera. 6. There is a walking/bike path that loops just over a mile. The trees and other foliage that line it are meticulously cared for so at times it does actually feel like you're walking through …
The dog is hovering over me while the indentations of the bathroom tile dig into my side. She's standing looking at me with sad tired eyes. We've been in the bathroom for the last seven hours because she's sick. I haven't slept but that's not the thing that worries me right now. What worries me is that I have somewhere to be at 9 a.m. and I can't leave her alone. It's just about 8 a.m. and groggy-eyed me starts Googling vets nearby that can take a look at her. I've been cleaning her up all night, three or four showers later and she only stays clean for a few minutes before it starts again. I …
Some of us go off in search of adventure and unexplored territory just for the thrill of it. It only has to be new to our eyes to really be new. Who knows what kind of insights or new ideas that new thing might spark off in your own head? The urge is to go off to faraway places to find these new things. But really, sometimes new things are right in front of our eyes, even in places we've already been. It's a sunny and hot summer day and I've assembled my crew to explore the Henry Hudson Trail in Freehold. It's a place I searched fleetingly once before. This time I brought a posse and some …
I don't mean to but every time the door opens my head lifts up. Who it is walking through the door is different every time. The three guys in red shirts with writing on it that I can't make out. The woman with blond hair and white flower dress. The man and his son. The battery in my computer is dying a slow death and always needs to be plugged in so I'm forced to sit in the back of the Raintree Starbucks near an electrical outlet. Facing the door, I notice the steady waves of people flowing in. At 6:30 in the morning there's only a guy outside sitting at a table smoking a cigarette and …
My phone has the kind of GPS on it that you can speak into. I've been planning on returning to Lake Topanemus since the winter but just haven't found the time. Now I'm driving around trying to figure out exactly where it is. After speaking my destination into the phone I wait while a circle swirls and underneath it the word "working." The circle disappears and is replaced by the words "lake meanness." Not what I said. I press clear and try speaking again, my lips forming very carefully around the words. "Lake Topanemus in Freehold," I say very slowly, deliberately. The circle is working on …
When the joy of swimming has washed away, when the shine of new toys have gone dim, when the dog days of summer plop on your kid's lap and start snoring, only one remedy can be found. Get them jumping around. That jumping rope that worked for Rocky probably will only keep their attention for a few long seconds. What you have to do is get the kids down to Pump It Up for, what they call in the industry, Pop-In Playtime. What is Pop-In Playtime and what is Pump It Up? Pump It Up is a big building that stores bouncy structures for kids without shoes to jump, roll and otherwise bop around on. You …
Can a man drink a watermelon mojito and still feel like a man? Is it possible to get fresh and delicious seafood in little old Freehold? The answers to these questions and more can be found in the following... It's Friday night and my girlfriend and I find ourselves at Park Avenue Bistro. Tonight is our first time trying this place and I'm excited. A bottle of white wine is served. Abbie gets the tilapia and I get the shrimp fra diavolo. I don't usually order shrimp but I'm starving and want a nice bowl of pasta to fill my stomach up before the wine does. One of the specials paired up an …
In a world where you can modify your playlists, speed through recorded commercials and otherwise hack your world into exactly what you want, Yo Mon, a serve-yourself yogurt place, fits right in. Every time I’ve ever driven by at night the place has been packed to the gills. The overflow of families and kids spooning yogurt into their mouths on the sidewalk and parking lot in front. What could be so good about paying cold hard cash to put your own dessert together. And do you leave a tip? The other night my girlfriend and I decided to see what the overflow was all about. We walked in to the …
I'm sitting in a chair in the middle of Wal-Mart and a guy in a white lab jacket is telling me that the muscles in my back on my left side are pulling at my spine. This is all down in my lower back, complete with sore muscles. He's telling me that one side of my body is carrying an extra six pounds of weight putting a lot of stress on that side of my body. My feet on two different scales, people with carts full of Wal-Mart stuff walking by and looking. How this starts, I was picking up some quick stuff for my dog and I walk past a table with a guy in a white lab coat. The table has brochures …
The fine people over at Home Depot are always happy to help. Last time I dropped in, the mission was to find sand and a funnel to put the sand through. The sand was easy enough to find but within 10 minutes I had the entire store helping me look for a simple plastic funnel. Don't ask me where we wound up finding them, but we did. This time I'm here because I broke my kitchen. I was puttering around making coffee and everything was going well. When I opened the refrigerator to get some stuff to put in my coffee, I realized that the light was out. That's odd, I thought to myself. I poured stuff…
Barely outside of Bagelicious bagel shop and all you can hear is the crinkling of a brown paper bag, my hands reaching deep inside for the recently purchased bagel. Not even at my car and I'm pulling out the loosely wrapped bagel, peeling away around the edges. Cars honk and swerve as I stand in the middle of the parking lot, hypnotically chewing down to the paper, butter squeezing out the sides. A woman stops to talk to me as cars pull around my slow-moving figure. Ever since moving right around the corner, I've been stopping at Bagelicious a couple times a week. Sometimes for breakfast, …
If given the choice between moving the contents of an entire household and lying on a bed of nails for a week, I'm pretty sure I'd choose the nail bed. Moving is never fun and I don't know anybody who likes doing it. Unfortunately, it is sometimes a necessity. We decided to move all our stuff by ourselves. The move was pretty successful with the exception of one big armoire that weighed about two tons and was very tall. Not being expert in the ways of movers (and not wanting it to careen down the four flights of stairs it had to go down and crush someone) we left it for the professionals. In …
We recently went to the movies to see Scream 4 and it got me thinking about the many tactics for having a successful movie outing. The following is a handy list. Avoid Movie Theater Lines ForeverThere is no good reason to stand in line to buy tickets at movie theaters. You can purchase online or at the theater hours or days before the actual movie. Don't get stuck in line. Of course, if everyone eventually follows this advice there won't be any lines so then you can stand in line. Until everyone figures that out then you'll be....oh nevermind. Buy your tickets in advance or online. The …
I feed my dog. I walk my dog. I play with my dog. I train my dog. I even shower with my dog, cowering in the corner and covered in shampoo (the dog, not me) every other week. The one thing I don't do and am too afraid to do is clip her nails because she's kind of squirrely. Her nails have always been ground down pretty well from tons of daily walking but last week one of her thumbnails reached mutant claw level and needed to be clipped. My girlfriend and I tried briefly to clip it, but she squirmed uncontrollably (the dog, not my girlfriend) and we retreated to devise Plan B. Plan B turned …
I like a good time, but it's been ages since that good time was marinated in beer-supplied ethanol. I can't remember the last time I got hopped up on hops. After walking into The Brewer's Apprentice and I'm thinking about jumping into the vat again. The Brewer's Apprentice is in an office complex on that weird-to-get-to road that Frankie Feds is on. From the outside the place looks kind of boring and maybe that's what appeals to me. You'd never expect that inside grown men are spending a few hours at a time cooking and bottling up sudsy concoctions. Without a doubt this is New Jersey's …
Nobody told me until this last Sunday that I was too old to ride on the horse around the carousel in the Freehold Raceway Mall. Matter of fact, I couldn't even buy a ticket. They gave it to me for free with the purchase of tickets for Aiden, 7, and Cameron, 5. They asked me if I'd go on the carousel with them and their mom. Of course I'm down for any kind of amusement or ride. As we waited for the current ride to end I began eyeing the horses as they spun around. There is a very nice patriotic horse that I thought I might like to take a slow circular spin on. The boys were pointing and …
I broke the first rule of buffet eating when I pulled into the parking lot of Tokyo Hibachi & Sushi Buffet one afternoon last week. My stomach was growling and I was starving. A big no-no. RULE #1: Don't Go To A Buffet On An Empty Stomach This seems counterintuitive. It's not. When you're starving you'll make poor food choices and wind up stuffed before you've reached your eating potential. This was my first time in Tokyo but I'd heard it was really good. It always amazes me how these places can stay in business putting out what seems like endless trays of food and platters of sushi. The …
