I Remember Us

It’s Halloween night, and I’m looking at pictures my daughter just posted of herself, and her team’s Halloween costumes before going to a Halloween party.  Looking at all of them dressed as different colored Crayola crayons, and greeting the seemingly endless trick or treaters at my door, I’m thinking back to when my daughter would join her group of friends every year to go trick or treating.  A tight knit group, the parents and kids would meet at my friend Anne’s home, the kids would anxiously await one another’s arrival, and we would turn them loose on the neighborhood to trick or treat.  Pizza would be ordered, the table set, and we would await their triumphant and hungry return. Once dinner was devoured, and candy swapping had taken place, they again pulled themselves together, grabbed the dads, and raced off into the darkness to pillage the candy bowls they missed on the afternoon outing.   It was a holiday I cherished as much as Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Those were the holidays I spent with the family I was fortunate enough to be born in to; Halloween was the holiday I spent with the families of the women who would become like sisters to me, and whose friendship I couldn’t imagine my life without.  These women – Anne, Lisa, Jen, Lorraine, Chris, and Diana – would become my lovies.  In my eyes, we each had a role, like sisters do, and our friendship was solid.

Anne was the knowledgeable lovey.  She knew everything there was to know about the schools, the teachers, our town, and the world in general, and her giggle was reminiscent of Betty Rubble.  She was the very definition of a lady, and possessed a ladylike quality that automatically made you respect, and admire her.  Being in her presence, and just listening to her speak elevated my IQ because not only was she fearless in what she believed, she had the knowledge to back it up.  And, there was always an open invitation for tea, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, with a huge hug for dessert.

Jen was the practical, level headed lovey.  She would joke about the fact that her college major was Home Economics, but once you knew her you realized she was the reason Home Economics was a college major.  A mother to three daughters (two of them twins), Jen was the picture of calm, cool, and collected.  She never panicked, always had a logical solution to any problem, kept her schedule and those of her children well organized, cooked, cleaned, sewed, planned amazing family vacations, and still had time to get her nails done.  Nothing ruffled her feathers, and I don’t believe I ever once saw her lose control.  She managed everything in her life with a calmness and sense of humor anyone would envy.  Once her eldest left for college, she also enrolled in college in order to take her first step back into the business world.  And, when I had to inevitably fess up to something I’d done going awry, just like she said it would, I could count on an “Oh, Maureeeeeeeen!  What am I going to do with you!”, and a reassuring smile as she shook her head.

Lorraine, or Lorrainey as I call her, was the intellectual lovey.  Very methodical, very precise, Lorrainey loved to look at all sides of a situation, emotionally and analytically.  Have you ever met someone that you were sure you could never say anything off color in front of, or “slip” in front of, yet the first time you do, they’re the first one to laugh, or chime right in with the perfect response?  THAT is Lorrainey.  Beneath that angelic, sweet smile, is a bit of a devilish spirit I adore.

Diana, a teacher, was the mushy lovey.  Always sweet, always friendly, she took care of her friends the way she did her son…with a caring heart, and comforting smile.  Down to earth, and self deprecating, she was as beautiful on the outside as she was on the inside.

Chris was the worldly lovey.  Chris traveled everywhere when she was younger, and worked for many high powered companies.  Standing at a statuesque six feet tall, Chris had an air of sophistication and fun that only a woman who had lived a full life could possibly possess, but she exuded warmth, and an openness that could only come with the confidence of knowing who she was, and the appreciation for everything she had the opportunity to experience.  Easy to joke around with, she had beautiful blue eyes that twinkled endlessly.

Last, but no least, was Lisa.  Lisa was the youngest of all the lovies, and lived up to all the stereotypes of being the “baby” of the group.  Fun loving, carefree, and up for just about anything, she was the lovey whose house you could always just show up to, unannounced, and a cup of coffee, or a glass of wine awaited you.  Three children, a large dog (or guinea pig, or four legged creature of some kind), and house that always seemed to have some sort of activity going on in it, her laughter was contagious, and her schedule mindnumbing.  Swim meets, dance recitals, band practice, CCD (teaching of course), and working outside of her home part time, she was a whirling dervish of movement, but when it came to her family and friends, her heart and her feet were firmly planted.  A voracious reader, and talented writer, her accessibility matched her heart…always available.

Sitting here, listening and handing out candy to the kids who are trick or treating, and looking at the pictures of how my own daughter is celebrating this year, I’m homesick for my friend Anne’s home, and the comfort of being a part of that family I loved so much.  We all still keep in touch on Facebook, and with occasional catch up e-mails, but it’s not the same.

Our children now grown and off in all new directions, some of us having younger ones still at home, some of us working full time now with no children at home - all of these things have caused a shift in our lives, and in our friendships.  I know things can never stay the same, and life has to move on, but tonight it’s particularly bittersweet. 

So, on this night that we used to share, I will pour myself a glass of wine, and wish you all a very Happy Halloween.  I think of you often…I remember all of our good times…I miss our gatherings…but, most of all I just miss my lovies.